Top Ten Lies My Mother Told Me

To commemorate the movie here are the Top Ten Lies My Mother Told MeIt is one of those girly girl movies but it gave me an idea for a totally pathetic and white trash comedy routine that I am about to inflict upon you. It might not be funny but at least you will get to know me a little bit better. Before we get to the list, here is a trailer for the film for those of you masochistic enough to watch.

Top Ten Lies My Mother Told Me

1. Everyone Wets the Bed.

2. You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out

3. You are Handsome.

4. He’s your dad.

5. Of course you weren’t adopted.

6. She’s a whore (my first girlfriend).

7. Masturbating will make your hands fall off.

8. You’re not a bastard.

9. You will make something of yourself.

10. You can’t live in my basement when you are 30.

Those were the Top Ten Lies that my mother told me. Don’t worry I turned out okay. For those of you, who are interested in the film it is one of those Lifetime Monstrosities that makes me want to commit Hari Kari. According to Amazon: A sexy con woman takes her daughter along as she runs from the law, scamming anyone she can. But right when she's ready to settle down with a wealthy lawyer and ditch her old ways, she gets into even more trouble. Will her daughter catch on to what her mother has done? Find out! Don't miss "Nip/Tuck"'s Joely Richardson and "Heroes"' Hayden Panettiere in this film inspired by real events. With a bit of nudity, it could be a good film. Maybe I will remake it someday.